If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize