Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
