i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
