So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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