Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
