I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
