I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
