i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
