I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You took a bar mat shot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
