Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
