I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
