That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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