Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize