Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
