he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
