So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
