Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
