She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
