Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
