matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
