I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
