I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
