maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
