Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize