Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
