..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
