Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
