i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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