He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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