I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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