I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My balls are so social today.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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