and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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