soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
