did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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