wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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