when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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