we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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