Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
