I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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