FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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