i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
