I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
