I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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