I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
