please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
