Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
