Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
