quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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