I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
