happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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