So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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