some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
