she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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