He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
did i walk over a car last night?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
