All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
