Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
