Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
