ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
