if i can run in heels then i can drive
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
