ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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