you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
