the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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