I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
