Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
