so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
