I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize