I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
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