Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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